{"id":298,"date":"2024-11-21T02:29:56","date_gmt":"2024-11-21T02:29:56","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/www.creatingloverelationships.org\/?p=298"},"modified":"2025-03-25T22:54:15","modified_gmt":"2025-03-25T22:54:15","slug":"communication-errors","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.creatingloverelationships.org\/index.php\/2024\/11\/21\/communication-errors\/","title":{"rendered":"Communication Dangers"},"content":{"rendered":"<p><script>!function(r,u,m,b,l,e){r._Rumble=b,r[b]||(r[b]=function(){(r[b]._=r[b]._||[]).push(arguments);if(r[b]._.length==1){l=u.createElement(m),e=u.getElementsByTagName(m)[0],l.async=1,l.src=\"https:\/\/rumble.com\/embedJS\/u1oy3u8\"+(arguments[1].video?'.'+arguments[1].video:'')+\"\/?url=\"+encodeURIComponent(location.href)+\"&args=\"+encodeURIComponent(JSON.stringify([].slice.apply(arguments))),e.parentNode.insertBefore(l,e)}})}(window, document, \"script\", \"Rumble\");<\/script><\/p>\n<div id=\"rumble_v6ozory\"><\/div>\n<p><script>\nRumble(\"play\", {\"video\":\"v6ozory\",\"div\":\"rumble_v6ozory\"});<\/script><\/p>\n<p><span data-contrast=\"auto\">If you are really wanting to develop good communication skills, there are some things you need to know that will hinder and\/or destroy your ability to communicate in a way that the other person will be able to receive your message.\u00a0 Let\u2019s look at some of the things you need to avoid.<\/span><span data-ccp-props=\"{}\">\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span data-contrast=\"auto\">DEMANDING VS REQUESTING.<\/span><span data-ccp-props=\"{}\">\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span data-contrast=\"auto\">There will be times you will need to request something you need.\u00a0 But when your request turns into a demand, you have now let the other person know that you don\u2019t care how he or she feels. Your demand has just cut off communication lines.\u00a0 A demand is no longer asking if the person can meet your need, but you are telling them that they have no right to refuse you.\u00a0 Communication has ended and major withdrawals from the love bank has taken place.<\/span><span data-ccp-props=\"{}\">\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span data-contrast=\"auto\">Demands also make it less likely that the other person will ever want to meet that need. If you force them to meet the demand now, you are giving a strong signal that you\u2019re unconcerned about their feelings or concerns.\u00a0 And if you\u2019re going to be self-centered in this request, what other areas will you abuse them next.<\/span><span data-ccp-props=\"{}\">\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span data-contrast=\"auto\">A wiser approach would be to ask, \u2018I\u2019m really needing help with a situation I\u2019m dealing with and I could really use your help.\u00a0 Do you have time now or when would be a good time for you to help me?\u201d This approach shows you desire help from them and also allows them to help when it is convenient.\u00a0\u00a0<\/span><span data-ccp-props=\"{}\">\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span data-contrast=\"auto\">Make sure your request has a set time, for whatever it is, to be completed.\u00a0 If not specific, their idea of helping could be days later.\u00a0 And the request needs to be specific.\u00a0 For instance, if you just ask for help around the house, the other person may not be able to help if it is something they have no knowledge about.\u00a0 And the person receiving the request, needs to be specific as to why they may need to wait to help.\u00a0\u00a0<\/span><span data-ccp-props=\"{}\">\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span data-ccp-props=\"{}\">\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span data-contrast=\"auto\">DISRESPECT<\/span><span data-ccp-props=\"{}\">\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span data-contrast=\"auto\">I have never met anyone who enjoyed being disrespected. This is one way to shut down all healthy communication.\u00a0 And some people seem to be unaware of how they can disrespect others.\u00a0 Something as simple as rolling your eyes to a statement, can destroy any further communication for the evening.\u00a0\u00a0<\/span><span data-ccp-props=\"{}\">\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span data-contrast=\"auto\">What if you don\u2019t respect the other person opinion?\u00a0 You can state your opinion without being disrespectful.\u00a0 And first, tell the other person what you just heard them say to make sure you heard what they were saying. Then clearly state why you believe what you do.\u00a0 There will be many times you will disagree with others, but you can agree to disagree.\u00a0 Never say anything that\u2019s disrespectful.<\/span><span data-ccp-props=\"{}\">\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span data-contrast=\"auto\">Proverbs 15:1 &#8211; \u201cA soft answer turns away wrath, but a harsh word stirs up anger.\u201d\u00a0<\/span><span data-ccp-props=\"{}\">\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span data-contrast=\"auto\">Attacking a person\u2019s thoughts, opinions or character is uncalled for.\u00a0 That includes your response to someone who has just attacked you verbally.\u00a0 Never allow anyone to cause you to respond in a disrespectful way.\u00a0 You are in charge of y our response and it should come from a heart of love, not destruction. If you need to, tell them you need to take a time out before you continue the conversation. Never give anyone the power over your words or feelings.<\/span><span data-ccp-props=\"{}\">\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span data-contrast=\"auto\">When you respond in the same manner as the person treated you, you are now escalating the situation. And escalation can often lead to very serious negative consequences.\u00a0 And often both individuals may feel sorry for their actions and words later, but they may never be forgotten.\u00a0 And a time out is wise before escalation leads to destructive consequences. And this is a good time to ask yourself if this conversation will be putting deposits in the other persons \u2018love bank\u2019 or making withdrawals that could destroy the relationship.<\/span><span data-ccp-props=\"{}\">\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span data-ccp-props=\"{}\">\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span data-contrast=\"auto\">ANGER<\/span><span data-ccp-props=\"{}\">\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span data-contrast=\"auto\">Anger is always intended to be hurtful.\u00a0 Proverbs 29:11 &#8211; \u201cA fool gives full vent to his anger, but a wise man quietly holds it back.\u201d And in Ephesians 4:26 we read, \u201cIn your anger do not sin: Do not let the sun go down while you are still angry.\u201d One author says that when people are angry, they are experiencing temporary insanity.\u00a0 Angry outbursts have no place in anyone\u2019s life.\u00a0 And this is especially true in a marriage.\u00a0 Your spouse deserves a relationship of protection, care and love.<\/span><span data-ccp-props=\"{}\">\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span data-contrast=\"auto\">Too often, people will respond to anger by withdrawing emotionally or physically.\u00a0 No further healthy communication will take place.<\/span><span data-ccp-props=\"{}\">\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span data-ccp-props=\"{}\">\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span data-contrast=\"auto\">BRINGING UP THE PAST<\/span><span data-ccp-props=\"{}\">\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span data-contrast=\"auto\">One of the greatest mistakes you can do is to keep bringing up a hurt from the past.\u00a0 If you have dealt with the past and have forgiven the other person for the pain you experienced, you should never bring it up again.\u00a0 You should have learned from it and now you will go on. Once God has forgiven us, He never brings it up again.\u00a0 The Bible says there is now, no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus.\u00a0 It is not your job to play the \u2018blame game\u2019 or to keep reminding the other person of how much they hurt you.\u00a0 Get help!\u00a0 Find someone to help you deal with the pain and ask God to help you with a spirit of forgiveness.\u00a0 Most people I have worked with are sincerely heartbroken over their mistake or sin that has caused pain.<\/span><span data-ccp-props=\"{}\">\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span data-contrast=\"auto\">In our next time together, we will be looking at a technique to help us develop strong communication.\u00a0 This technique is found in a book titled, \u201cFighting for Your Marriage\u201d by Howard J. Markman, Scott M. Stanley and Susan L. Blumberg.\u00a0 I highly recommend that you buy this book as it is a great tool to enhance your marriage.<\/span><span data-ccp-props=\"{}\">\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>If you are really wanting to develop good communication skills, there are some things you need to know that will hinder and\/or destroy your ability to communicate in a way that the other person will be able to receive your message.\u00a0 Let\u2019s look at some of the things you need to avoid.\u00a0 DEMANDING VS REQUESTING.\u00a0 [&hellip;]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[2],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-298","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-relationships"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.creatingloverelationships.org\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/298","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.creatingloverelationships.org\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.creatingloverelationships.org\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.creatingloverelationships.org\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.creatingloverelationships.org\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=298"}],"version-history":[{"count":3,"href":"https:\/\/www.creatingloverelationships.org\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/298\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":351,"href":"https:\/\/www.creatingloverelationships.org\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/298\/revisions\/351"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.creatingloverelationships.org\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=298"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.creatingloverelationships.org\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=298"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.creatingloverelationships.org\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=298"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}