{"id":294,"date":"2024-11-20T23:15:49","date_gmt":"2024-11-20T23:15:49","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/www.creatingloverelationships.org\/?p=294"},"modified":"2024-11-20T23:15:49","modified_gmt":"2024-11-20T23:15:49","slug":"for-women-only","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.creatingloverelationships.org\/index.php\/2024\/11\/20\/for-women-only\/","title":{"rendered":"For Women Only"},"content":{"rendered":"

Insanity is my only means of relaxation.<\/span>\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

Reason to smile: Every seven minutes of every day someone in an aerobic class pulls a hamstring.<\/span>\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

Women over 50 don’t have babies, because they would put them down and forget where they left them.<\/span>\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

One of life’s mysteries is how a 2 pound box of candy can make a woman gain five pounds.<\/span>\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

The best way to forget all your troubles is to wear tight shoes.<\/span>\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

The older you get, the tougher it is to lose weight, because by then, your body and your fat are really good friends.<\/span>\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

Amazing! You hang something in your closet for a while and it shrinks two sizes!<\/span>\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

Skinny people irritate me! Especially when they say things like, \u201cYou know, sometimes I forget to eat.\u201d Now I\u2019ve forgotten my address, my mother’s maiden name, and my keys. But I’ve never forgotten to eat. You have to be a special kind of stupid to forget to eat.<\/span>\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0A friend of mine confused her Valium whether birth control pills. She had 14 kids, but she doesn’t really care.<\/span>\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

They keep telling us to get in touch with our bodies. Mine isn’t all that communicative, but I heard from it the other day after I said, \u201cBody, how’d you like to go to a 6:00 o’clock class in vigorous toning?\u201d Clear as a bell my body said, \u201cDo it and die.\u201d<\/span>\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

The trouble with some women is they get all excited about nothing… and then they marry him.<\/span>\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

I read this article that said the typical symptoms of stress are eating too much, impulse buying, and driving too fast. Are they kidding? That is my idea of a perfect day.<\/span>\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

I know what Victoria’s Secret is. The secret is that nobody older than 30 can fit into their stuff.<\/span>\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

If men can run the world, why can’t they stop wearing neckties? How intelligent is it to start the day by tying a noose around your neck?<\/span>\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Insanity is my only means of relaxation.\u00a0 Reason to smile: Every seven minutes of every day someone in an aerobic class pulls a hamstring.\u00a0 Women over 50 don’t have babies, because they would put them down and forget where they left them.\u00a0 One of life’s mysteries is how a 2 pound box of candy can […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[3],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-294","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-humor"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.creatingloverelationships.org\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/294","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.creatingloverelationships.org\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.creatingloverelationships.org\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.creatingloverelationships.org\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.creatingloverelationships.org\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=294"}],"version-history":[{"count":1,"href":"https:\/\/www.creatingloverelationships.org\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/294\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":295,"href":"https:\/\/www.creatingloverelationships.org\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/294\/revisions\/295"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.creatingloverelationships.org\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=294"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.creatingloverelationships.org\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=294"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.creatingloverelationships.org\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=294"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}